The Best Show On WFMU – “The Gathering Of The Juggalos”

The Best Show On WFMU was a combination music, comedy, and call-in radio program that ran from 2000 thru 2013 on New Jersey’s free-form, independent radio station WFMU. Hosted by Tom Scharpling, it lived up to its billing of “three hours of mirth, music, and mayhem”. Tom would usually kick-off the show with songs ranging from Led Zeppelin’s “Achilles Last Stand” to modern acts like F*cked Up. After the music , Tom usually hosted comedians & musicians in-studio and took calls from listeners. Superchunk drummer Jon Wurster would frequently call the show as a variety of characters from the very fictional, very surreal New Jersey suburb of “Newbridge.” Frequent Wurster characters included “Philly Boy Roy” (an unflinching supporter of all things Philadelphia), “Timmy von Trimble” (a genetically modified, two-inch-tall racist), and “The Gorch” (a senior citizen from York, Pennsylvania, who claims that the character of The Fonz on the TV show Happy Days was based on him, without permission).

A year after The Best Show On WFMU exited the airwaves, the program returned as a streaming Internet show and can be heard every Tuesday from 9pm to midnight at thebestshow.net.

This bit from July 21st, 2009 is a classic from the old show. Tom & comedian Paul F. Tompkins discuss an ad promoting the upcoming Gathering Of The Juggalos, a multi-day festival hosted by Insane Clown Posse in middle of nowhere — Cave-In-Rock, Illinois. It’s the funniest 45 minutes in existence. Enjoy!

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“Little Dennis And The Time Machine”

A short story in 100 words.


“What you got there, faggot?”

Dennis clutched the Walkman against his chest. “An old tape player.”

The bully lunged. Eyes fixed on the device, he didn’t notice Dennis’s fist. The punch crashed hard across his face. Bleeding, the bully regained his balance. Dennis quickly rewound the tape and pressed play.

“What you got there, faggot?”

Dennis clutched the Walkman against his chest. “An old tape player.”

The bully lunged. Eyes fixed on the device, he didn’t notice Dennis’s fist. The punch crashed hard across his face. Bleeding, the bully regained his balance. Dennis smiled, rewound the tape, and pressed play.

Advice from Kurt Vonnegut

Vonnegut addresses the graduating class at Fredonia College in New York on May 20, 1978. Taken from If This Isn’t Nice, What Is?: Advice to the Young.

I suppose you will all want money and true love, among other things. I will tell you how to make money: work very hard. I will tell you how to win love: wear nice clothing and smile all the time. Learn the words to all the latest songs.

What other advice can I give you? Eat lots of bran to provide necessary bulk in your diet. The only advice my father ever gave me was this: “Never stick anything in your ear.” The tiniest bones in your body are inside your ears, you know — and your sense of balance, too. If you mess around with your ears, you could not only become deaf, but you could also start falling down all the time. So just leave your ears completely alone. They’re fine, just the way they are.

Don’t murder anybody — even though New York State does not use the death penalty.

That’s about it.